What to Say While Watching the Olympics with Grandparents

While the Olympic games have the power to bring us together, they can also accentuate our differences, particularly between generations. While the experience of watching the coverage with parents can range from to tolerable to enjoyable, witnessing this event can be challenging when in the presence of grandparents. Rio will put us at the provocative crossroads of multiculturalism and changing times that prompt seemingly involuntary comments from seniors. This list represents the statistically best possible responses to some of the most likely utterances you will hear from grandparents during the Olympics.

-Yes, Grandpa. That's what "junk in the trunk" means, but normally you say it about women.

- Because poker isn’t a sport.

- The white runners show up because they earned their place.

- Aunt Karen is that big. Does that mean she’s on steroids?

- It’s from cupping Grandma. It’s a sports therapy. It’s not from Zika.

- I don’t think you have enough hair for cornrows.

- I’m not politically correct, I just… let’s just watch.

- No, this isn’t contributing to the deficit.

- Her name is Ledecky, not Speedo.

- I’m just saying Brazilian isn’t a language.

- I’m pretty sure they don’t get shot if they lose. 

- You’re only missing reruns.

- Because I wasn’t that good at it Grandma.

- No, I don’t know what they say and I don’t want to know.

- The U.N. doesn’t run the Olympics.

- There’s no skating. It’s summer. Yes, I’m sure.

- No. They’ve never put on nice clothes for the medal ceremonies. 

- There are no East Germans anymore. It’s just Germany.

- She’s not on the Muslim team. There is no Muslim team. She's American.