THE BOSTON MASSACRE
When our great land was settled some people chose to be lawyers. Some people chose to be doctors. Others chose to be mass murderers. The Boston Massacre was one of these. The Boston Massacre was the first mass murderer in American history. He got his name because he liked to massacre his victims to death. His great great great grandson was the famous Boston Strangler. 
FIRST AMERICAN TEST TUBE BABY
Before the resonation of the lesson of AIDS, it became a fad among certain women to have unprotected relations with test tubes. Some of these women got pregnant and the result was test tube babies. While science wrongly hailed this as a breakthrough, their excitement did not take into account the lives test tube babies would be subject to. Since marrying test tubes is not legal (yet), test tube babies are generally raised in single-parent homes which tend to be poor, dirty, permissive, and underachieving. Because they are part glass, test tube babies tend to be very brittle and can not play like other children. For this reason they are teased and bullied. While no one should bully other children, interfering with bullies is a violation of the First Amendment. Test tube babies have a higher tendency towards a life of crime.
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