There has been yet another misunderstanding recently of the type where a Republican seeking office makes a homicidal quip that gets completely taken out of context. This time it was Republican congressional candidate Brad Goehring (really his name) who posted the following on his Facebook page: “If I could issue hunting permits, I would officially declare today opening day for liberals. The season would extend to November 2 and have no limits on how many taken as we desperately need to ‘thin’ the herd.”
A spokesperson for the campaign pointed out that Goerhing was speaking metaphorically in reference to the electoral process and not about gunning down political opponents. Oooooohhhhhh. Of course. That’s obvious. It’s like when a Republican says:
“Let’s get some guns and kill liberals” They are actually saying: “We need to take care of this out of control deficit”
When a Republican says: “Hell yeah, these are cop killer bullets. You in?” They’re actually saying: “We need to be putting an emphasis on our small businesses”
When a Republican says: “Don’t try to back out now, you pussy. I recorded your ass on the phone. You’re already in too deep, Mike.” They’re actually saying: “The federal government has no right to set education mandates.”
When a Republican says: “Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! I need to figure this out! Okay. We need to go to your Mom’s.” They’re actually saying: “We need to continue offshore drilling to decrease our dependence on foreign oil.”
When a Republican says: “Randy, you gotta let me in. I’ve done something horrible. I think I killed some people. I think I might have killed Mike too.” They’re actually saying: “Wall Street should be controlled by the Free Market and not by Washington.”
When a Republican says: “Stay away from me, Randy! I’m not going to the gas chamber! This is going to make a mess. I’m so sorry.” They’re actually saying: “Health care is not a right”
A normal person may wonder why they don’t just say what they mean instead of couching their message in seeming antisocial and violent language. It’s just the conservative way. They actually don’t understand how other people find their usage suggestive of violence. “How” they ask “can anyone think the words ‘kill people’ actually mean ‘kill people’?” So the next time you hear Sarah Palin say “I want to shoot someone from Americorps in the face” just nod and say “That is right. Something does need to be done about illegal immigration.”
No comments:
Post a Comment