Black Friday Funnies

Reflections on Allegations of National Division

Goppers continue to win the battle for rhetorical conventional wisdom, evidenced by the fact that talking heads across the spectrum claim that the Nation is divided. While there is a division, the break is solely within the Republican party, and more specifically within the hearts of Republican voters. 

CASE IN POINT:
The above map shows states where Republicans won governorships on Tuesday night. Voters in three of those states - Idaho, Nebraska, and Utah voted to expand medicaid. To refresh, the medicaid expansion was part of the Affordable Care Act/Obamacare which was passed in 2010, eight years ago, with vehement party line opposition from Republicans. Reliably Republican states resisted the expansion in the so-called Tea Party era in which GOP party bona fides were measured by how much Obama could be opposed and denigrated, regardless of how sensible his policies were. 

Time has proven how in-demand Obama's medicaid expansion has been as Republican states have reluctantly signed up for those benefits, but not in a linear fashion. Some red states dug in and fully resisted. In other red states, Republican governors have been battling Republican state legislatures and vice versa, over the implementation of the expansion. Those battles have highlighted the internal conflict that haunts the Republican party across the board to this day. Republicans have been torn between sticking to their arguments against the efficacy of a pro-government liberal black president, and allowing his policies to improve their quality of life. 

On Tuesday night, Republicans in three more states voted to let the policies of the pro-government liberal black president take effect while voting for governors from the party that has been laser-focused on obstructing those very policies. These are clearly people who are suffering from inner conflicts, yet that conflict is being ascribed to the nation as a whole. It is not the nation that is divided. IT IS WHITE REPUBLICANS WHO ARE DIVIDED WITHIN THEMSELVES. Referring to that conflict as a national problem is their way of shirking reality. Accepting their argument that we are nationally divided makes us complicit. 
#ItsNotBothSides 

For a timeline of Medicaid expansion by state, click here

Caravan Juanita Tracker

As the 2018 midterm election approaches, the majority of Americans are beginning to focus on the issues that are important to them like, you know, most of the stuff Bernie Sanders talks about. Meanwhile, the dwindling yet committed number of people who still admit to being Trump supporters are concentrating on the real important stuff like ridiculing sexual assault victims and vilifying poor people who mostly aren't white. 

As part of the latter agenda, these seekers of fake threats to white liberty have Fox News on 24/7 to help them get all frothy over a march of Central American migrants careening towards the U.S. border at a neck-breaking two-or-so miles an hour.  To the credit of the Fox Newsers, the caravan is a real event and not the concoction  of some gluteally endowed bigot peddling conspiracy theories of a white doomsday over a microphone. No, the caravan is not fake news, but what is fake is the reported level of threat posed by the march by the obedient soldiers in conservative media who are taking orders from the former Fox News executive coordinating conservative communications from the White House. 

Goppers have taken considerable creative license with the migrant narrative to enhance the SWF or Scare Whitey Factor. Fox personalities are going to their Greatest Hits in telling the tale of the caravan including the notion that the evil George Soros is funding this movement from Liberalia, his mountain hideout in Massachusetts or Vermont or wherever conservatives hate at the moment. Never mind that there is no conceivable explanation why he would do this. But Fox News Nation does not think that far. They hate brown people and they hate George Soros so any situation that has Soros and "illegals" in cahoots pleasantly stimulates the abnormally large hate center of their brains. 

Another hunk of crap conservatives are being encouraged to propagate is that "Middle Eastern" people are included as part of this very slow moving group. By "Middle Eastern," Trump and Fox mean Muslim because Trump folk really hate Muslims. When the press did its job and literally pressed the president for proof that sneaky Muslims, er, Middle Eastern people were part of the landed flotilla, Trump responded "there's no proof of anything." To a larger extent there's no proof to 75% of what Trump says. The other 25% is pure lies.

The AOTL recommendation for everyone buying into the Trump line on the caravan, whether that buy-in is fake or real, is please treat this threat like an approaching hurricane. Caravan Juanita recently hit Huixtla, Mexico, a mere 2400 miles away from Tijuana. And remember, there are so many factors making this caravan unpredictable. Right now the only source of its strength is George Soros, but that can change any minute if George Clooney, or Lady Gaga joined Soros in what we will call the Hollywood Elite effect. If that happens, this caravan can afford to buy bus tickets or cars and pick up some speed, in which case we could be seeing bands of the caravan at the U.S. border as early as early next week. And that's only one model. What if this caravan bought speedboats and came up the Pacific coast? We don't know where they could land. But the worst case scenario yet would be if this northerly band of Españolers bought plane tickets and fake documents with the financial energy behind this Soros/Hollywood Elite fuel tank. If that were to transpire, we're looking at the Caravan of the Century!

If you watch and accept what is broadcast on Fox New (with the exception of Shep Smith, Juan Williams and sometimes Chris Wallace), this is your warning! There is no way to escape the violence of this caravan, currently categorized as an MS-13, once you are in its path. So heed these warnings and PLEASE, LEAVE AMERICA NOW!

To punctuate the impending danger, let us take a moment, to remember all that the Trump type people lost during the last caravan. They lost their minds, they lost control, and they lost a week of work watching the diligent reporting of Fox News, who braved the horrors of Central Americans huddling under tarps on the Mexican side of the U.S. border. With the unpredictability of this current caravan that has progressed about five feet in the time it has taken to read this, Trumpublicans are taking their lives into their own hands. Caravan Juanita can not be shouted down with racial slurs or threatened with bombs so leave while you can. But if you must stay, remember to vote on November 7!

Hannity Reveals Possible HRC Porn Star Sex Partner

In a bombshell announcement, Fox News host Sean Hannity claimed to have the name of an adult film actor who might have been sexually linked to Hillary Clinton. Hannity warned the list was likely to grow and might even somehow involve more high-profile Democrats including House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi and former National Security Advisor Susan Rice. 

Thus far, Hannity claims to have evidence that may link Clinton to Clifford Stephanie who performs under the name Daniel Stormy. AOTL has been unable to confirm the existence of such an adult film actor. 

Nambia Tops Trump's Final List of Tariff Targets

At the request of a staff and a party of mostly free-traders, Donald Trump has spent the past week making adjustments to the spur of the moment steel tariff he recently announced. Trump is now convinced the tariff should be placed only on the countries listed below which have been described to him as the worst trade actors.

Nambia
Freedonia
Wakanda
Lilliput
Atlantis
Bacteria
Middle Earth
Oceania
Zamunda
Ruritania
Oz
Eldorado
Panem
Narnia

If You Love Your Dog...

Amid the political friction, there is one thing that unites many of us and that is our love for our dogs. Treat your dogs well. Feed them Canine Banquet. It's food your dog will eat. 

"Memo" vs "GOP Hit Job"

What to get Devin Nunes for his next birthday or his induction into hell? How about a dictionary. He apparently doesn't know what a memo is.

Also, I make a call to the White House switchboard.